⭑𓂃My Poly PrinciplesᲘ︵𐑼
⭑𓂃 Please allow me to build my relationships organically and naturally, on their own. I will not get along with someone you force me to be friends with purely for your own benefit.
⭑𓂃 Nobody is above anyone; I do not care about hierarchy, only priorities. If I make plans with you, expect me to keep those plans. Something may come up but I will always communicate if it does unless I unexpectedly fall asleep or fall ill.
⭑𓂃 I do not believe in allowing partners to veto, period. Under any circumstance.
⭑𓂃 Communication helps resolve miscommunication, jealousy, and needs being unmet. If you cannot do the bare minimum in communication you have no right to yell at me or otherwise be upset you chose not to discuss the issue with me.
⭑𓂃 If you aren't telling me your intentions with someone and then ask me to date them at the random I am going to panic because it is unexpected. I was not aware you liked them or had intention of being with them therefore I had zero time to prepare myself mentally for losing some access to my partner. I have no problem with sharing, but I have a lot of problems with not respecting others emotions involved. Poly is not easier or less work. It's more commitment, more time, more patience, and more love. Value O/our emotions and feelings or get lost.
⭑𓂃 Poly is not one size fits all, please understand that. I am not going to get into some long winded argument with you over what is more acceptable and what is not. If everyone consents, if everyone is happy, if everyones needs/wants/desires are being met/fulfilled then I see nothing wrong and you need to mind your own business.
⭑𓂃 Jealousy happens and is expected sometimes and that's okay, it's how you handle yourself when experiencing jealousy that I am going to be observing. If you project your jealousy onto any of my partners and make obscene claims about them, I am going to hold you accountable and be angry with you. It's unnecessary drama and disrespectful. Poly should be rooted in mutual respect, understanding, healthy boundaries, and consent. Communicate effectively, don't project and shift blame.
⭑𓂃 Be transparent about your intentions with me. I love hard. I feel things on a very deep emotional level and I need you to be clear in what you want with me and do not want so I may adjust my feelings and perceptions accordingly.
⭑𓂃 I will not discuss issues with partners to my other partners. I feel this builds bitter feelings and resentment towards others in the cule and won't participate in it. My issues with you stay between us and us alone. The only people I include are my closest friends that are not romantic and outside the cule, to lean on for advice, guidance, and validation as I have many poly experienced friends I rely on. Two of which are appointed safe people by a licensed therapist and must know about my life. This is for my own emotional well-being.
⭑𓂃 I am okay with either Kitchen Table or Parallel Polyamory and practice both on a regular basis. What I'm not okay with is forcing others into one or the other for your satisfaction or benefit. I find that to be selfish and nonconsensual. This is in congruence with my desire to form relationships naturally. If someone has no desire to communicate with or meet your other partner/s, you cannot force them but that does not tarnish the quality of your relationship or what you have. Respect is a two way street. Equality is a two way street.
⭑𓂃 I will not date someone solely because we are both poly, you have to match my wants/needs/desires and be able to uphold the same standards/morals that I do in mutual respect, having healthy boundaries, obtaining enthusiastic and proper consent, communicating effectively, being transparent in your wants/needs/desires/emotions, and being true to yourself. Do not agree with everything I say or enjoy just to impress me. I can feel out a snake in a heartbeat and I will ignore you.
⭑𓂃 Having humility is the most attractive thing in a man. The ability to admit when you're wrong and you've learned tells me you are observant, you care about the way you act and how it effects others, and you listen. Denial and refusal to see your wrongs is immature. I will not give you anymore of my time if you are not accountable for yourself and your partners/dynamics.
⭑𓂃 If you are fucking around, not telling me, calling some other man your Daddy without my knowledge, and forming a relationship with them that I am unaware of you are cheating. Period. poly does not mean do whatever you want. That is not ethical.
⭑𓂃 I am okay with unicorn situations but do not invite me into yiur chaos. I, nor any other third, is going to fix your failing relationship. Work on yourselves before you invite someone into both of you. Being a unicorn can be a beautiful thing, but it can also make the third feel like they're being emotionally ripped apart in a matter of choice, and you don't want them to choose. It will hurt everyone involved.
⭑𓂃 I will never date or form a dynamic with someone that my partner dislikes or has caused them harm or trauma. It will only cause negative feelings and arguments. It will not be a positive experience for anyone.
⭑𓂃 I strive to leave my partners better than I found them.